Bottled water

These American girls keep laughin' any time I say, "Bottle of water" - CC

I let my mind go
where it wants to go

my legs go
where they want to go

my eyes drift
hoping for a sip of the divine

birds hover like unsung heroes,
indifferent to my plea.

Nature doesn't give a shit about what I want.
what I need
to look at, listen to, is already within.

The point is to live more, feel more.
take in

as much as you can.

heart pounds,
lungs scream,
head down,
eyes closed.

It’s not surrender to let the pain inside.

[insert: welcome doormat]
not as you but a thing you own

suffering is a fool's choice
and a martyr's errand

but i choose to push through
guided by a voice that whispers,

you have more to give.

I run I run

I run until my mind goes blank.

until the mask falls,
the fog lifts

and I’m back.

Into the world
where it’s strange,

sharp,

and more pure than before.

they say, they say,

you live in a gap between where you are,

and where you want to be.

I straddle between two shores

of despair

/ and desire

until my jeans rip,
and my ass breaks wind and
my groin tears into meat
and my legs split in two

like a broken barbie doll

with a pulse

and then... and then...
I learn what I'm made of

: a tug of war in the muscle

Coming up for air,

the answer might be different,
but now I'm different…

a l l.

s t r e t c h e d.

o u t.

not s t r e t c h e d thin

The truth was a mirage
until I turned to face it.

here,
here

I can breathe again.